10%, woo!

Jeannine and I with my 10% ring!

Today was a great day, and it's only noon! On Friday I did my weigh in at Weight Watchers to find out that I had already hit 10%, loosing 3.8 lb since Monday. So today when I went in, I was hoping last night's dinner at John's didn't kill that 3.8 lb that I had already lost. It didn't! Today I was down 5.2 lb, for a total loss of 34.6 lb!

A few things helped in getting me to this point this week. I didn't step on the scale at home. I only stepped on the WW scale and my doctor's scale last week. I counted and tracked! I made wise choices, salad with chicken instead of pasta at Ernesto's, and at John's, I went with salad first then had the pizza... Filled up on the healthy, before the "junk." And I used Sharon's advice, trying Walk of the Pounds DVD. I did it 4 times last week, and man was covered in sweat. In 15 minutes, I burned 300 calories, just walking in place (some sideways, forward & backwards included)! I was sold. So I moved! Plus I didn't sit on my butt as much! I was busy doing things, gearing up for Linc's birthday party on Sunday (gasp).

Bodybugg Stats:
Calories burned: 3314
Calorie Consumed: 1870
Calorie Deficit: 1444
Activity time: 1 hr 7 min
Steps taken: 6861
Hours slept: 7 hrs 39 minutes

Not too bad! Goal for this coming week, continue with the Walk off the Pounds DVDs, track, and try one new recipe (Skinnytaste.com has some that I am going to try), and be good on Linc's birthday!

Here's a picture of Jean

Have a great week! Much love,

Mexican Feast in a slow cooker!

Tonight's dinner was fabulous! I got the main course's recipe off of Friend's For Weight Loss and I tweaked it a bit to fit our tastes.
Crockpot Chicken Bake

• 1 cup of Enchilada Sauce (red)
• 1 cup of Fage 0% Greek yogurt
• 1 tsp of minced garlic (in the jar, or 1 clove)
• 1.5 tablespoon of cilantro (or 1/3 C fresh)
• 8 Mission Extra Thin Corn Tortillas
• 2 Cups of cooked chicken breast, shredded (equals 11.7 ounces)
• 1 cup of 2% Mexican cheese mix, shredded

1. Mix the first 4 ingredients in a bowl. 
2. Prep crock pot with Pam cooking spray if yours tends to have a sticking issue (mine doesn't). 
3. Place 2-3 tortillas, over lapping and tearing if needed to fit them in the bottom.
4. Add 1/4 (about half cup) of the salsa mixture, 1/2 the chicken, and 1/4 cup of cheese. 
5. Top with 2-3 tortillas and spoon in 1/4 salsa mixture, rest of chiken and 1/4 cup of cheese.
6. Put the last of the tortillas on top, top with the rest of the salsa mixture and then cheese.
7. Cover and cook on low for 4 hours. 

Serving size is 1/4 of the casserole.
Calories: 375
Fat: 12.2
Protein: 40
Carbs: 24

Now of course you could call it good there, but why not add some sort of side. So I had canned black beans in the pantry. I've never actually cooked them up as a side, only in chili or something like that. So I found a recipe on Allrecipes.com and it was great. Here it is with my tweaks.
Easy Black Beans

• 1 can of black beans (not drained)
• 1 t minced onion
• 1 t minced garlic
• 1 t dried cilantro
• 2 t of lime juice

Combine and simmer for 5 minutes. Makes 4 1/2 cup servings.

Calories:112
Fat: .4
Protein: 7.1
Carbs: 20.8


Total dinner calories: 484 and it was tasty!
Chandler loved it. So it's now in rotation! And the beans were so easy, I see us adding those into the side dish rotation! Enjoy!

Ugh...This sucks!

Today was weigh in day, and I should have stayed home... I thought I was doing well, I wasn't sitting on my ass like I tend to, I walked 3.5 miles wednesday, cleaned the heck out of the garage on Thursday, but I guess I just wasn't active enough. I even tracked! And I am up 1.8 this week. I am devistated about it. Really feel like I am hitting a wall.

Yesterday I think I finally figured out what the hell my deal is. I am scared. The things on my mind:

• Fear of loosing so much weight and looking like a saggy piece of shit.
• Fear of loosing the layers that have protected me (all mental). 
• Fear of not being happy when it's gone.
• Cannot get to the gym like I'd like to. 
• Chandler getting out of school and messing up the routine I am in. 
• Lincoln needing to learn to potty train so he can go to school next year and thus give me 2 hrs alone twice a week.

And I think the first thing that is blocking me (mentally) is getting into the 200's. I mean that's a HUGE step! To step on the scale and see 299... And then to hit 298 and be at 10%. I think I have been mentally sabotaging myself because I am nervous about hitting that step. I mean really 30 lb is awesome and all, but the first real hurdle was getting to the 200's. And now that I am knocking on the door, I can't fucking get through the door.


I am so frustrated!!!! I just want to do this. I HAVE to do this, not only for myself, but for my family! And I feel like I am letting them down. I know the kids have *no* clue what I am doing and why (although Chandler created a recipe for a Banana Split shake and it was "only 14 calories, Mom!"-Honey, I wish). But I just need to figure this out. I am tempted to call my old therapist and ask for help. I know a lot of this is self esteem related and fear. I am ready to loose it, and I can't let my head screw it up.

So this week, I am only going to step on the scale at WW (Today & Friday). Not doing it at home! My goal is to track (I did ok last week-5 days), and to loose .5 lb. That's what my leader suggested at my meeting today. Don't get hung up on the numbers. So there it is. Thanks for reading this week's novel. I will reward you with a recipe in a couple minutes. It was dinner tonight, and yummy. Thanks for the support. Much love,

Reflections, 1 year later, Part 2

Chandler testing out the mask

So we had a tour with the Child Life person at the hospital and was given a bag with things to get Chandler mentally ready for surgery. They gave us bandaids, alcohol swabs, gloves, mask, a doll with a hospital gown on as well as a couple beanie babies and even a mask that they will use for administering anesthesia. Since both Chandler & Lincoln were there for the tour they both got a bag. It was so awesome. We played with those things, Chandler liked talking like Darth Vader with the anesthesia mask on. And he was comfortable with it. Whew.

Chandler & Dad in pre-op

The morning of his surgery we went to the hospital, he was going to be having surgery around 9 am, he was pushed back due to an emergency. So we got to the hospital, and were all checked in. He got changed into his outfit and we waited. He was all smiles as we waited. He was nervous when they finally gave him some meds to make him calm and loopy (see video in link below-it's funny). 

Watching Star Wars

We waited for him to come out of surgery with his preschool teachers. Our pastor offered to come as well, and it was so sweet. Grandma Brown had Lincoln at the house, but she knew we'd be well taken care of since Chandler would be under her friend, Jane's, care. Jane was such a blessing to Pat, and was there right after Lincoln was born. So when Dr. Wheby came out to give us the scoop of how his surgery went, we were in great company. Turns out Chandler's spine had an unusually thick filum terminale, which is a cord that anchors the cord to the tail bone area. Normally it's about 1mm thick and acts like a rubber band. Chandlers, however, was 5 mm thick and was more like a rope; thus the spinal cord didn't have room to move freely or be elastic. She just cut it, so he has a dangling spinal cord. :)

Dad surprises Chandler in the garden

Chandler had to lay flat for 24 hrs, and it was not as hard as I thought it would be. But man, the bed sucked for me. I totally couldn't imagine having to be there for more than 1 night. He had a hard time coming out of the anesthesia, couldn't calm down, had the shakes really bad...nothing a mama wants to see! Once we got to this room, Jane got him some Morphine, and he was much better, asking for his DVD player and Star Wars toy that was in the car (for post surgery fun). He was good having the IV in his hand, and was brave when they pulled it out.
Once he was cleared to be more vertical, the next morning, he got to go in the wagon and see the garden,and then it was time to be discharged and head home! 24 hrs in the hospital! Amazing!

Recovering at home on the couch.

When we got home, he did a full Star Wars (originals) marathon! We had to keep Lincoln off him, which was a hard one to do.

Dr. Monica Wheby & Chandler at his Post-Op check, cleared for activity!

After 4 weeks, Chandler was enrolled in Taekwondo at Family Kicks Martial Arts. When he began TKD: he couldn't bunny hop, balance longer than 3 seconds on 1 foot, his run was really choppy/spastic, His kick was about 8 inches off the ground. Needless to say, he was like a 3 year old (per his PT eval).

Ax Kick, when he began 7/11

Now, 1 year later (11 months since starting TKD), he is a yellow belt! He's confident, has balance, jumping capabilities (he jumps from the 2nd step at the house!), his gait is much more fluid, he has more range of motion in his kicks. It's truly amazing where he is now. I never (ever) regret the decision to do the surgery. I regret that I didn't listen to my mother in law, who suspected he has a tethered cord when he was 8 months old. I am so grateful to all those doctors who helped us help Chandler. I feel like our family was so blessed to be able to help Chandler. I know there are so many out there who are not either as lucky or cannot afford medical care.

So, I am thankful for all those who prayed for us, who visited Chandler, and have been helping us work with him to become the young boy he's meant to be. I am so thankful to his Speech teacher (Mr. Minear) and his Kindergarten teacher (Mrs. Bacos) and especially Master Jim Null & Master Adrienne Null. They have made Taekwondo a form of physical therapy that he loves. Watch out world, Chandler's got plans to be a black belt! And if he's anything like his parents, he'll be determined to do it!

Training w/ Uncle Vino, check out the height 3/11

Link to many photos related to his surgery 

Reflections, 1 year later, part 1

Today, I begin this post to reflect on the last year. June 7th, 2010 was the date Chandler had surgery for his Tethered Spinal Cord.

What Is a Tethered Spinal Cord?

A tethered spinal cord is a disorder in which a child's spinal cord is pulled down and stuck, or fixed, to the spinal canal. The spinal cord normally floats free inside the spinal canal.
As a child grows, the spinal cord must be able to move freely inside the spinal canal. If the spinal cord is stuck, it will stretch like a rubber band as a child grows. This can permanently damage the spinal nerves. Seattle Children's Hospital

 For Chandler, he had symptoms from the time he was 3-4 months old, he didn't crawl until 12 1/2 months, or walk until he was 18 1/2 months. Once he was walking, he ran with an odd gait, nothing that would signal "get him to the dr," he couldn't walk up the stairs or down-he'd crawl. His balance was off. But again, his Dr. wasn't worried and took the "wait and see" approach. Fine with me. I wasn't worried.

When we started looking into additional speech therapy for his Childhood Apraxia of Speech, we decided to have him evaluated by a developmental pediatrician. Since our insurance wouldn't cover speech unless it was due to an accident or birth defect (think Cleft Palate). So we were going to try and have it diagnosed as a Neurological Disorder, which it is!

After meeting with the Dev. Ped. she suggested having a Physical Therapy Evaluation, since he was behind in gross motor skills for an approximate 5 year old. Ok, great. We had the PT eval done at Legacy Emanuel Children's Hospital, and we got a great PT (a friend of Grandma Brown's). She found that Chandler was at least 2-3 years BEHIND where he should be. She also saw that he was very weak in his lower body, but great in his upper body. She suggested seeing Dr. Mark Shih, a Neurologist (who also is a friend of Grandma Brown). We saw Dr. Shih, and he noticed Chandler's reflexes were hyper, meaning they bounced way too much. He was leaning when he bent over at the waist (one side lower than the other). With the PT eval, his constipation history, developmental delays, he ordered an MRI.

Chandler's brain. Pretty cool!

The arrow points to the thickened part of the tether.

We did the MRI, where Chandler was sedated. He was a trooper! And very brave! After reading the MRI, Dr. Shih, confirmed what we suspected. Chandler was born with Spina Bifida Occulta. He had a birth defect. But this was nothing compared to what my friends' son, Christopher, was born with. Or another friend, Gina, who's son has to be in a wheelchair most of the time. Chandler can walk, run, and jump (not very well). He referred us to a woman who would eventually do surgery on Chandler's spine.

Dr. Monica Wheby, a pediatric Neurosurgeon at Emanuel Children's Hospital, met with us after Grandma Brown called in a huge favor to have him seen a month later (normal waiting time was 5-6 months). When we met with Dr. Wheby, she did another physical exam, checking the same things that Dr. Shih did. She concurred with his diagnosis, and checked Chandler's MRI and showed us what was causing the problem. Of course, we'd know more when she was in there, fixing the problem. But she scheduled surgery 10 days later, after Rob's last final for the term.

Slow and steady wins the race, right?

This week I was a "non-tracker." I admit it. I have been really lacking in the writing it down habit. And I know that is causing my loss to be less. This week I was down .6 (again). That's fine, at least it's a loss. :) But I know after speaking to my WW leader, tracking really is the key. So I am going to be extra diligent and write it all down (hey I just remembered some nuts I had earlier that I forgot to track, opps)! So I am going to make a note on the mirror in the bathroom to remind me to track! I have 2 lb to loose to hit my first real goal, I can do this! And 2 lb is very doable. So that's it for the week. I will have a couple other (random) posts this week. Other things going on that I need to reflect on. So please check back. Thanks for the support! I will post on Friday how the week is going. Until then,