I looked back in my WW weigh in logs and have noticed I've been stuck between 53 and 57 pounds lost since February 13th. I think we can say this is a stupid, dumb, inconvenient, stubborn plateau! I am in the midst of massive diet fatigue, caused by this stupid plateau.

Mentally, I think I've been on "vacation" since the Shamrock run. I was so mad that I didn't loose anything after doing the 5k, and I checked out. But I know I cannot afford to do that. I know I haven't been meal planning as much either. However, last week was my 34th birthday. I took the week off, didn't track, didn't care. I ate what I wanted, and how much I wanted. I did make good choices, besides the amazing hamburger that Rob made on my b-day, and the amazing steak I had last night when we celebrated with my family & Uncle Vino. But I had no idea this morning when I stepped on the scale, and was down 1.6!

I think seeing myself hit 57.0 helped make me realize I am 3 lb away from 60. I am mentally ready to hit that number, and it really is just a number. I remember thinking about this when I was trying to hit 10%, way back when. Even with this plateau, I have lost 4.5 inches! So Even when I am not loosing weight, I am loosing fat! So there is the silver lining! Another one is that I am now a blue belt in Taekwondo, check the tab above for some photos.
Until next week (I hope)!

The List Update & weigh in

Added to the list, which you can read about more here.
A reason for every pound I've lost:

1. Sit on the floor comfortably without pinching my nerve in my hip.
2. Walk through the pew at church without having to side step
3. Lose the double chin
4. Rediscover my jaw bone
5. To shop at any store!
6. Paint my toenails without having to put my foot up on the counter!
7. Being able to see what color it is without having to bend over!!
8. Hold a plank position for more than 1 minute
9. Do more than 1 real push up at a time
10. Fit in narrow seats
11. Not have back fat
12. Not have my legs touch in the middle
13. Go jogging for fun, not for a fitness test (high school=nightmares)!
14. Get to a healthy weight so I can see my future grandchildren!
15. Find my collarbone and show it off
16. Not just wear jeans & t-shirts!
17. Run a 5k
18. Train for a half marathon
19. Train for a century bike ride (100 miles)
20. Have tall boots fit over my calves
21. Wear heals and not complain the minute they are put on!
22. Not have my arms wave back at you when I wave
23. Prove that I wasn’t meant to be FAT!
24. Earn a Black Belt in Taekwondo
25. Be smaller than I was as a Freshman in High school (271 lb)
26. Feel good in my exercise clothes
27. Have a healthy glow
28. See my toes from a standing position (I suppose that goes with toenail polish).
29. Make healthy changes to my favorite recipes because I want to, not because I have to
30. Wake up ready to go, and not want more sleep
31. Have more flexibility mentally and physically
32. Prevent knee surgery
33. Not be ashamed of myself
34. Enjoy looking in the mirror
35. Shop in the "regular" section of department stores
36. Have positive things to say about myself
37. Increase stamina
38. Fit comfortably in chairs at events (ie: giants games,convention center, etc.)
39. Feel like a legitimate athlete when I am out exercising 
40. Look like a legitimate athlete when I am out exercising
41. Inspire people
42. Take joy in taking care of myself
43. Try things I’ve wanted to try, but haven’t due to weight.
44. Know that I'm worth it 
45. Finally know I DESERVE it
46. I no longer qualify to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser!!
47. Be able to be a bone marrow donor on Be the Match
48. Feel good about donating all the fat clothes! See ya! (Dec 29, 2011)
49. Enjoy food knowing it's healthy
50. Seeing that I am more flexible than I was 8 months ago
51. Not seeing a number before the letters "XL" (in mens). 
52. Look in the mirror and enjoy the reflection!
53. To not follow my dad in passing away early.
54. Be able to run around with the kids and NOT gasp for breath.
55. Have energy to do the things I want to do. (February 27, 2012)

I have neglected my list, and a friend (Lisa) updated hers, reminding me to update mine. I was happy to have to add 7 items. It's going to get tougher to add as I go. But I'll try to focus inward to find a worthy item to list. It's part of the "healing" process and acceptance of change!

I lost .6 lb this week, which I am happy with. I haven't been running as much as I should be. And I am going to work on busting through the week 4 "plateau!" I have a run in 20 days and I need to focus! I am starting to get nervous about it. But as I figured out in my Weight Watcher meeting today, I am not going to win the race; that's not my goal. My goal is to finish. But my true goal is to do it in 45 minutes, a 15 minute mile/4 MPH average. When I signed up, I also signed up as a runner, which gets me a chip timer. So I'll know! :) 

The other thing I've done is registered for the March of Dimes 10k walk (6.2 miles) in late April. I am probably nuts, actually I know I am. Especially since I was planning on doing the Cinco de Mayo 5k. Hmmm. But I have a great friend who's running the team and it's such a great cause. Want to donate? Click here, please!  So in addition to my crazy loco ideas about running, I am starting to mentally think about riding my bike. I am actually looking forward to spring and when it warms up enough to ride outside. But if it's going to snow, please do it soon! I really would like to see some before I hit the 2 wheeler. LOL. 

Also in TKD news, Chandler and I belt tested last week. We are now Senior Green belts. I broke my board on the first try with the Axe Kick. Got an A on Il Jang and A- on my 2nd form, Sa Jang. So I received Decided tape and Silver tape for my 2nd form. I am very pleased! Next up is Blue Belt, and offically graduating out of the "beginner" level classes

January's results

Two weeks, no blog. Yep it's bad... I don't know why I don't blog when things get "bad" but I do. I know I need to be held accountable to those weeks, but honestly, I don't feel like doing all the number crunching to give you the actual weigh in numbers. Last week I was up 3.4 lb, this week up 1 lb. Total up 4.4 in 2 weeks. AGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!
Of course this coming week we have a birthday party (I will not eat cake, I will not eat cake, I will not eat cake) and Rob and I will be going out on Sunday night for our Anniversary. Needless to say, I am already worried and it's only Monday afternoon!!! I spoke with Jeannine (my WW leader) and asked her if it's cheating to weigh in on Sunday morning so I can enjoy dinner at Portland City Grill Sunday night. She said yes and that she absolved me of the shame I might feel by weighing in a day early. I love that woman! :) So I will be weighing in at (gasp) 7:30 AM Sunday. So 6 days to diet this week.

On a much more positive note, I did my measurements from the beginning of the year today. I was very happy to see I have lost inches, even though my progress the last 2 weeks has been slacking.
Neck- no change
Bicep (R) -.5" (L) -1"
Forearms (R) no change (L) no change
Bra Strap -2.5"
Chest +1"
Waist -2.5"
Hips +1"
Quad (R) -.35" WOW!!!
Calf (R) -.5"
Total inches lost in January 8.5"!!!  
Weight Lost in January 3.4 lb (eh).

So I will try and keep up the positive attitude and keep my mantra in my head: It's a journey not a race.

Success along the Weigh

Today I am down 3.8 for a total of 53 lb lost. I am thrilled with that number, shocked really, I figured I'd be down around 52 total today. There is a woman in the blogosphere that has a blog called "Success Along the Weigh" and she's lost over 190lb. Her #1 rule is "Quitting is not an option" and I think it's a great topic for this week.
After last week's 1 lb gain, I made sure I kept on doing what I had been doing, not letting the + get in my head. And by pushing through it's helped! I kept with the same diet, and exercise routine. The only variation I did was yesterday (Sunday) because I have a cold, was pooped and didn't think I could do the C25k run. So instead, I did the elliptical for 30 minutes versus running/walking. I didn't give up, saying "I'm not feeling good" or "I'm too tired to do it" etc. I put on my gym clothes and headed out. I felt good afterwards (especially after stretching-flexibility is improving big time). I had a good calorie burn and got home in time for the end of the game (priorities, right?).

So the summery for the week:
Mon: 2,070 cal / 50 P+
Tues: 2,112 cal/ 55 P+
Wed: 1,872 cal/ 48 P+
Thurs: 1,906 cal/ 51 P+
Fri: 1,944 cal/ 51 P+
Sat: 2,429 cal/ 65 P+
Sun: 1,683 cal/ 44 P+

I earned 64 Activity Points per WW & burned 3,164 Calories per MFP in 313 minutes of activity! So this week, I ate all my weekly points and 14 of my activity points.

I am happy with it, I think I did good. I also weighed in of Friday and had a good weigh in, down 2.4, so today was even better. Goal for this week: repeat week 3 of C25k, I am working on my breathing techniques for the 3 minute runs. I am also seeing Dr. Dennis (new Chiropractor) to have my pelvis adjusted, which should help my knees. And hopefully my cold will be gone soon, so I feel comfortable running again (without gasping for breath). Until next week!

Muscle gain, yeah, that's it.

Today I weighed in and was up 1 lb (total loss 49.2lb). I am going to attribute it to muscle gain or water retention in the muscles! I was at the gym 3 times last week, doing week 2 of the C25K program, and at Aim High for 3 TKD classes; which I think is the main reason. My body is adjusting to the amount of exercise I am doing. I know it's not what's going in my mouth, since I tracked (really, I did) and was not crazy. I had 1 cheat meal on Saturday for Lucy's 3rd b-day, but that's it.
Here's how the week looked:
Mon: 2,351 cal / 61 P+
Tues: 1,683 cal/ 41 P+
Wed: 1,996 cal/ 44 P+
Thurs: 2,067 cal/ 48 P+
Fri: 1,611 cal/ 48 P+
Sat: 2,468 cal/ 70 P+
Sun: 2,131 cal/ 54P+
I earned 94 Activity Points per WW & burned 3,285 Calories per MFP in 310 minutes of activity!
So I guess the WW Points were high on some days, but that's where I used my weeklies and some activity points. That's what they are for. :)

Tomorrow I start week 3 of the C25K and I am a bit nervous since my knee and shin on my right leg are bothering me. But I think I am out of alignment so I am calling Hector and having an adjustment. Hopefully that will help. If you want to see how I am doing on that training, check the tab above. Thanks for the support! Hopefully next week my body will be adjusted to the new workout routine.

A huge goal met!

50 lb lost charm from WW! Took 53 weeks!

Today I hit a major goal! I have lost 50.2 lb since Jan 2, 2011! I am thrilled! I know last week when I blogged about everything, I was going to hit it this week! And sure enough I lost 4.2 lb this weigh in!

This last week, I have really changed up my outlook on this "diet." I knew things needed to change, and so I changed them-for the better! I tracked all week! I didn't miss a single thing (ok, maybe gum, but dude, it's 5 Kcal). I actually double tracked: WW points plus and calories on Myfitnesspal.com. It was interesting to see. 
Mon: 2,060 cal / 49 P+
Tues: 1,949 cal/ 48 P+
Wed: 1,519 cal/ 38 P+
Thurs: 1,901 cal/ 44 P+
Fri: 1,849 cal/ 53 P+
Sat:1,948 cal/ 44 P+
Sun:1,537 cal/ 40 P+
I earned 66 Activity Points per WW & burned 3,378Calories per MFP in 265 minutes of activity!

I think this is good to see, to be able to reflect on the effects of training 6 of 7 days last week. This week I plan on adding weight lifting to the mix.
Mon, Wed, Sat: TKD
Mon & Wed: Weights
Tues, Thurs, Sun: C25k week 2

So there it is, hit 50 lb, feel great about last week's workouts, and how I ate. So hopefully I can continue this trend. New goal is 60 by the end of February.

Friday check in!

Tonight I am seeing West Side Story at the Keller, which means dinner out with the gang! Good thing is I planned for it! On Monday, I made a chart with the plans for the week: activity and possible hurdles. This has really worked! Here it is (basically):
Monday: Tread N Shred at Crunch (30 min) & Taekwondo (45 min)
Tuesday: Day 1 of week 1 of Couch to 5k (30 min)
Wednesday: Taekwondo (45 min)
Thursday:  Day 2 of week 1 of Couch to 5k (30 min)
Friday: Rest Day; Dinner out!
Saturday: Taekwondo (45 min) & Day 3 of week 1 of Couch to 5k (30 min)
Sunday: Day 1 of week 2 of C25k (30 min)

Knowing my plan, has helped me stay on track! I am down 4.0 so far this week! I went to WW and checked in and I am down 50.2 total (although it's not an official weigh-only Mondays)! So there is some motivation for keeping on track!!! I also have tracked all week! Not skipping a thing! It's really helped me, and I think the scale noticed. I might even do some unscheduled exercise today with the Kincet during "nap time" just for fun! Who would have thought. :)

1 year down!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Today is my 1 year mark on my journey to a healthier Melissa. I am very proud of committing to this, and sticking with it (in some way or form) for this long. Normally I burn out after 2-3 months and give up. I am very happy to say that I have changed my life(style) not just did/am doing a diet. In this period of time I have lost over 46 lb. I did gain this week (+2.4) but I think that was because of such a big loss last week and being sick. I was dehydrated and was warned when I weighed in last week, I could gain. Ann was right. But I am not stressing over it.

I have looked at my blog from the last year and have noticed what was working and what wasn't working. Working: gym & tracking. Not working: just Taekwondo & trying to eat right. So I am back to hitting the gym 2-3 times a week and I am back to tracking food. I am game planning my week too, seeing (ahead) what the hurdles will be and knowing how to over come them. This week we are going to see West Side Story, which means eating out. So If I hit the gym (changed to Crunch today) twice and Taekwondo twice before Friday, I'll be in good shape.

But I wanted to write about what I've accomplished in the last year besides the obvious scale victory.
1. Size 18 pants!
2. Smaller shirt size (22/24-darn boobs)!
3. Speaking of boobs, smaller bra size too!
4. Being able to do the elliptical for more than 1/2 hr without fear of dying (kidding).
5. Just saying "no" to cookies and junk.
6. Making better choices when out to eat.
7. Joining Chandler in Taekwondo and succeeding!
8. Speaking of TKD, Ax and Roundhouse kicks at my head level! Nuff said!
9. Balancing on a balance ball on all 4's for over a minute (close to 2).
10. On the ball, getting on to just my knees for the count of 5 (need to be at 20 when I test for black belt).
11. Feeling good about looking at myself!
12. Buying Ladies (not women's) XL workout pants!
13. Donating a ton of FAT clothes! Woot!!!

There are more, but those are listed on the other list. :) Until next time, friends!

Thanksgiving success

This week we had a beautiful Thanksgiving meal with Rob's family. I made all the dishes that I would eat, and the things I don't eat (stuffing, yams, pumpkin pie, etc) I didn't make. So everything I made was low in fat, sodium (if possible), and calories. I must say it all turned out delish! I didn't track at all, didn't exercise much (TKD once), and still managed to loose 2.4 to hit 45 lb lost on the nose! I was very excited to see that number. I know my goal was to hit 50 by next week, and I know that's most likely not going to happen, but I will be close! :) That makes me happy.

This week will be busy, and I suspect I'll be able to be good. I will be down at the Keller Auditorum for the Singing Christmas Tree. Starting tonight and through Sunday, I will be singing and having a blast with my TREE friends! I am amazed by how many people I know (women) are doing Weight Watchers or counting calories. It's just another support group and it really does help to have more friends to check in with. I will be sad next Monday when I won't be able to check in (in person) with Jo-Netta, Pattie, Gwen, Karen or Stacey. But  my motivation is still there in email and facebook.

Next week I'd like to see a drop of 2, and that will be without TKD all week, since it won't fit into the schedule. But I might try and squeeze in a couple gym runs.

I love surprises!

This last week, I was OK. I did hit the gym once, which hadn't occurred since the summer. It was a great workout, and I plan on making it back this week a couple times, since the Dojang will be closed Wed-Sun. But I weighed in and was down 1.8 lb! So I was presently surprised, even after Rob (Mr. Insensitive, in this case) brought home two dozen Krispy Kremes yesterday. I have decided that my will power to junk/rich/decadent foods are going to be very hard this holiday season. But I am going in with a plan. If I can try and make it to the gym more than I have been, then I should be OK. Thanksgiving is going to be a good test, but I think leftovers are going to be harder. :) I am looking forward to the challenge, but would really love to see another 1.5-2 lb next week. Time to get ready for Taekwondo (after I pick up Chandler at the bus stop)! Have a great Thanksgiving!!

Seriously!? Plus Thanksgiving recipe ideas!

This week, I was doing/trying so hard to be good...only to have a bad day yesterday and blow my weigh in. I know it's a journey and not an overnight thing, but hell, you can kill progress overnight. Up 1.6 this week. Grr.

Today we planned out Thanksgiving. So it got me in the mood to look around for some skinny reciepes for the day. I have found plenty. Besides our Shelton's Free Range (no antibiotics/hormone) turkey breast we'll bake. Here are some things that caught my eye. Of course, you all know how much I love Skinny Taste, so all but one are from her site. Thanks Gina!
Cranberry-Pineapple Sauce
Skinny Apple Cobbler
Skinny Scalloped Potato Gratin
Baked Turkey Croquettes (for leftovers)
Low Fat Green Bean Casserole

So I have a good idea of the plan-so I can just have my meal (since that's all it is) and not worry. Granted it's obviously WAY easier said than done. But I am still trying to have a miracle and hit that blasted 50 by December 1. Today's weigh in didn't help one bit, well it gave me the needed boost to plan my schedule with the gym and Taekwondo in mind. They are appointments-period. I need to make it a priority. I think if I were to do 3 days in the gym  (30-45 minutes of cardio), I could pull off a nice loss next week. I'd love to see 3-4 lb. Until next time,

Weigh in & measurement progress

This week I weighed in, down 2.6; total of 42.4 lb! Sweetness! I am now officially 7.6 away from my December 1 goal of 50 lb! So I am trying *not* to focus on the numbers... but it's SO hard! I decided to do my measurements, since it had been a few months since I did them. That was a surprise! I have lost 42.5 inches! That's 3 and a 1/2 feet!!!! HOLY COW! So I took a snip it from the WW etools. I thought the graph was pretty cool to see...going down! You can see my August "vacation", but still, very happy to see. Now, to get to the purple line (50#).

I realize this might seem a bit "toot your own horn" but hell, it's my blog & journey! And I am very proud of sticking with this for 11 months! I have never ever stuck with a diet this long, and I think it's because I am looking at it as a lifestyle and not a diet. I am having my cake and ice cream at parties and I don't feel bad! If only I could remember to track more often. I know this is a key to success, so I don't know why I sabotage myself by not tracking... and I suppose I should add more exercise to that as well. But that's ok.

I am still kicking it (literally) at Taekwondo, and I am even more proud on the balance ball! When I began in July, I could barely balance on that damn thing (on all 4's). Now I can hang out on all 4's for a good 1-1.5 minutes! I am even starting to try and get up on my knees only (a requirement for Black Belt testing in 2 years). I managed 5 seconds on Monday! Proof my core is getting stronger! Oh, and even cooler-I did a jump roundhouse kick on Monday! Holy smokes, jumping and kicking! I never thought I'd be able to do that! So I am very proud of where I have come. And I can't wait to see where I am in 6 months!

I did make the Lentil Soup in the slow cooker yesterday that was a recipe from the Weight Watcher Weekly. It was delish! Recipe here Give it a try! Very filling and satisfying! Until Monday (or so), Have a great week!!!

A goal hit!

A while ago, I made a goal to hit 40 lb. If I hadn't been a slacker in August, I would have hit it in September, but alas, I was. So I hit it today! I am down 40.8 lb since Jan 2! Sweet! I lost 3.4 lb this last week, which was great. I know I haven't really posted much, but I am working on it.

This week, Chandler & I will belt test in Taekwondo. I am hoping to try for a double belt promotion, but only if Chandler will be able to do the same. He's confident he's ready to try, so I let him lead (as well as Master Null). We just need to practice our Korean terminology and Q&A portion of the test. I had a goal (in addition to) to be able to Ax Kick at my head level by this week. I accomplished that goal two weeks ago! Who would have known a 290.4 lb woman could do that! I did! :)

I have been also working on eating more homemade food, less junk. I think I have been doing pretty good with that. A lot of soup and sandwiches for lunch. I will try and put some recipes up this week. I tried a Pasta Fegioli soup from Skinnytaste that was great! And I made some PB Banana Muffins that were good too-needed some mini chocolate chips, though.

Team Warriors 4 Alex, 2011

 The Brown family also participated in the Light the Night walk on Oct. 1. It was a great moment for the Warriors 4 Alex, even though Alex was still at the hospital recovering from his Bone Marrow Transplant.  We had over 60 Warriors walk with us and it was a very moving evening, even with a little bit of a sprinkle. So far our team has raised over $9,300! We have two more fundraisers coming up, Dutch Bros Beaverton on Monday Oct 24, and Zumba at Hardcore Training Studio on Nov 5! If you can come, check out our facebook page www.facebook.com/warriors4alex.

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The Browns

In the mean time, check out the pages below! More progress and notes!

Progress page
Taekwondo Diary

On track!

The last couple weeks have been tough to get back on track. But I did! Last week (post Labor Day) I was really ready to get back on track, and go figure I did! I was down 3.8 lb! So almost all the damage I did for the [whole] month of August was undone last week. I am now 1 lb up from my lowest point. So as of this week, I am down 36.0 lb total. I am still using my body bugg, but frankly their interface for entering food SUCKS! So I am now using My Fitness Pal for tracking and I am much happier. And the app for Android seems to be awesome! Woot!


As far as a brief update on the Taekwondo exercise! This is awesome! I am loving it. I cannot.get.enough! I am a yellow w/ green stripe belt. I plan on testing for my green belt in about a month, along with Chandler. We will also be going to Sisters, forr for a tournament! I think Chandler and I will both be competing in Forms, most likely doing Taeguek 3, Sam Jang. And I might compete in board breaking. We'll see about the latter. :)

Over the course of the summer though I have been doing some recipe exploring and plan on sharing with you soon! Until then, cheers!

Recommitting!

This summer has been tough on the diet, I've maintained (within 2 lb) of where I was down the most (37 lb). But I need to get back on the bandwagon. Summer break is (essentially) over and it's time to get my head into the game.

Today I went into Weight Watchers and weighed in, surprisingly I was down .2 lb. One thing I am proud to say, even though I knew the scale wouldn't be happy, I still went to my weigh in. Period, no cheating! I would tell myself, that I need to know the number and it was my own doing. Today I even mentioned that to the person who was weighing me in, and she said that was 1/2 the battle. Woo!

Today my leader, Jeannine, spoke about getting un-stuck! Talk about a perfect meeting for me. Why, Melissa, are you not loosing, you might ask? Well, I am not tracking, working out as much as I should, eating crap food that I shouldn't be eating, not measuring my portions, and not tracking! Oh wait I said that already, well, it's that damn important, so I hear.

Today I tracked all that I ate (Calorie wise). I should enter it into WW and see what the points come in at, just for shits and giggles. I'd be curious. I also did my exercise, 45 minutes of Taekwondo and 27 minutes of Walking (at home with Leslie). So I can check off the 2 goals I had for today.
Today's Calorie intake: 1829 (goal 1800)
Fat: 38 g
Protein: 115 g
Carbs: 232 g
Fiber: 19 g

Weight Watchers info:
 Daily Pts+: 45 allowed
Weekly Pts+: 45 (43 left)
Pts+ used: 47 (2 WPs used)
Activity Points earned: 12


Don't be surprised, if I blog every day this week, just to get back on track. Track(ing) right, must track! LOL. Until next time (and maybe I'll share some Taekwondo and biking goodies),

Plateau #2, busted!

I know it's been a while. But hey I am back. I busted through a plateau, and I am now down a total of 36.6, with a loss today of 2.8 lb. So I am happy. It's been a bit frustrating. I know I haven't been working out as much, but I am back.

I also signed up to do Taekwondo with Chandler at Family Kicks, and I start today as a white belt. I'll be blogging about this new adventure. It's helped Chandler so much, I know it will help me! So in addition to doing the TKD, I'll be working on training for the Providence Bridge Pedal on August 14th, and walking. I should go to the gym, but I don't want to. I'd rather do things around the house. I guess it's good that I am not paying membership fees right now (Costco's flat rate 24 hr membership for 2 years=awesome).

Maybe I should do measurements today and see where I am at before I start the TKD training. :) Then I'd have another tool to see how I am doing.

Ugh...This sucks!

Today was weigh in day, and I should have stayed home... I thought I was doing well, I wasn't sitting on my ass like I tend to, I walked 3.5 miles wednesday, cleaned the heck out of the garage on Thursday, but I guess I just wasn't active enough. I even tracked! And I am up 1.8 this week. I am devistated about it. Really feel like I am hitting a wall.

Yesterday I think I finally figured out what the hell my deal is. I am scared. The things on my mind:

• Fear of loosing so much weight and looking like a saggy piece of shit.
• Fear of loosing the layers that have protected me (all mental). 
• Fear of not being happy when it's gone.
• Cannot get to the gym like I'd like to. 
• Chandler getting out of school and messing up the routine I am in. 
• Lincoln needing to learn to potty train so he can go to school next year and thus give me 2 hrs alone twice a week.

And I think the first thing that is blocking me (mentally) is getting into the 200's. I mean that's a HUGE step! To step on the scale and see 299... And then to hit 298 and be at 10%. I think I have been mentally sabotaging myself because I am nervous about hitting that step. I mean really 30 lb is awesome and all, but the first real hurdle was getting to the 200's. And now that I am knocking on the door, I can't fucking get through the door.


I am so frustrated!!!! I just want to do this. I HAVE to do this, not only for myself, but for my family! And I feel like I am letting them down. I know the kids have *no* clue what I am doing and why (although Chandler created a recipe for a Banana Split shake and it was "only 14 calories, Mom!"-Honey, I wish). But I just need to figure this out. I am tempted to call my old therapist and ask for help. I know a lot of this is self esteem related and fear. I am ready to loose it, and I can't let my head screw it up.

So this week, I am only going to step on the scale at WW (Today & Friday). Not doing it at home! My goal is to track (I did ok last week-5 days), and to loose .5 lb. That's what my leader suggested at my meeting today. Don't get hung up on the numbers. So there it is. Thanks for reading this week's novel. I will reward you with a recipe in a couple minutes. It was dinner tonight, and yummy. Thanks for the support. Much love,

Slow and steady wins the race, right?

This week I was a "non-tracker." I admit it. I have been really lacking in the writing it down habit. And I know that is causing my loss to be less. This week I was down .6 (again). That's fine, at least it's a loss. :) But I know after speaking to my WW leader, tracking really is the key. So I am going to be extra diligent and write it all down (hey I just remembered some nuts I had earlier that I forgot to track, opps)! So I am going to make a note on the mirror in the bathroom to remind me to track! I have 2 lb to loose to hit my first real goal, I can do this! And 2 lb is very doable. So that's it for the week. I will have a couple other (random) posts this week. Other things going on that I need to reflect on. So please check back. Thanks for the support! I will post on Friday how the week is going. Until then,

30 lb gone forever!!!!!

Last week when I did my mid week weigh in, I was in a good spot, both mentally and in terms of lbs down. Over the weekend, I didn't go crazy, especially since I was still a bit stiff from doing my 5k on Thursday. So when I weighed in today, I was hoping to have a -2 show up, boy was I happy when it was -3.2! Which means I get to add my 30 lb down star to the post! Woot!!!!

I am now onto the same goal I've been attempting to hit for the last few weeks, 10% loss. I am still 3 lbs away from that. If all goes well this week, I will hit it next Tuesday (no WW on Monday since it's Memorial Day). I am hoping I get to get that blasted keyring!!! I have 3 charms to put on it, my 25 lb charm, 16 week key to success, and now my 5k charm!

For this week, I want to make it outside and do some more walking. I think I burn more when I do that. But good ol' Oregon weather will make it officially "weather permitting." I know that's an excuse. Of course that's what we talked about in our meeting this week. But hey, walking with a (almost) 3 year old in a stroller, isn't easy, and I can't imagine doing it with rain... Maybe I hit the weights in the basement, and do some Zumba on the Wii. It's been a lot harder getting to the gym with Rob's new schedule (again, an excuse! Damn it!). But here's hoping!!! Have a great week!!!

Busted?!

I hit WW this morning to do a mid week weigh in... Good news, down 1.8 so far this week! Woot!!!

So that was great! Yesterday I walked my own 5K! I had driven the route to see if it would work, milage wise, and it did!! So I loaded Lincoln into the jogger and we walked Chandler to the bus stop. Once he was on his merry way to school, Lincoln and I were off on our 3.1 mile walk. I was very happy, and I am sore today. The hamstrings are a bit tight, as are my calves. No worries. I'll be back to normal in no time. But I was very proud of my acomplishment. I had a goal to do a 5K by May 21st, and I did it! Even if it wasn't an "official" 5K that you have to pay $20-50 to do, it still counts in my book. Now to keep it up!

Then today I was reading a friend's blog, looking for something to cook for dinner, and I found this funny flow chart on how to find food:

Here's the orignal source of the photo: Funny Flow Chart and here is her blog Cooking Claire
Check out her blog it's got some great recipes. I will be adding it to the blog roll soon! :)

I hope on Monday the weigh in goes well, and I can mark this plateau as BUSTED! Have a great weekend. Hope you get to enjoy the sun!